Raising Kids with Resolve
Giving our kids a better story even in exile.
There are two types of people in this world: eat-to-live people and live-to-eat people. Norwegians, in general, and I fall into the eat-to-live category. Italians, on the other hand, are decidedly in the live-to-eat corner. I remember eating with my in-laws for the first time. I remember eating with my in-laws for the first time. Of everything offered to me, I refused nothing. Partly because I wanted to make a good first impression and partly because I couldn’t fully understand what my future in-laws were saying.
I desperately wanted my future father-in-law to like me, and from what I could tell by the elaborate simplicity that was their family table. Saying no to their food was not an option. So, I can sympathize with Daniel in our passage today. To say no to food was a bigger deal than we would think.
In Daniel chapter 1, we see God’s sovereignty, Daniel's resolve, and our need to give our kids the kind of story that deepens their resolve even in exile.
Daniel 1:3–21 (ESV)
3 Then the king commanded Ashpenaz, his chief eunuch, to bring some of the people of Israel, both of the royal family and of the nobility, 4 youths without blemish, of good appearance and skillful in all wisdom, endowed with knowledge, understanding learning, and competent to stand in the king’s palace, and to teach them the literature and language of the Chaldeans. 5 The king assigned them a daily portion of the food that the king ate, and of the wine that he drank. They were to be educated for three years, and at the end of that time they were to stand before the king. 6 Among these were Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah of the tribe of Judah. 7 And the chief of the eunuchs gave them names: Daniel he called Belteshazzar, Hananiah he called Shadrach, Mishael he called Meshach, and Azariah he called Abednego.
How to indoctrinate a person: Change their customs, Change their language, Change their home, and control their education. Our kids are being formed, and we need to be counter-formational in our discipleship of our kids. In every way.
Daniel’s Faithfulness
8 But Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself with the king’s food, or with the wine that he drank. Therefore, he asked the chief of the eunuchs to allow him not to defile himself. 9 And God gave Daniel favor and compassion in the sight of the chief of the eunuchs, 10 and the chief of the eunuchs said to Daniel, “I fear my lord the king, who assigned your food and your drink; for why should he see that you were in worse condition than the youths who are of your own age? So you would endanger" my head with the king.” 11 Then Daniel said to the steward whom the chief of the eunuchs had assigned over Daniel, Hananiah, Mi" hael, and Azariah, 12 “Test your servants for ten days; let us be given vegetables to eat and water to drink. 13 Then let our appearance and the appearance of youths who eat the king’s food be observed by you, and deal with your servants acc" rding to what you see.” 14 So he listened to them in this matter, and tested them for ten days. 15 At the end of ten days it was seen that they were better in appearance and fatter in flesh than all youths who ate the king’s food. 16 So the steward took away their food and the wine they were to drink, and gave them vegetables.
17 As for these four youths, God gave them learning and skill in all literature and wisdom, and Daniel had understanding in all visions and dreams. 18 At the end of the time, when the king had commanded that they should be brought in, the chief of the eunuchs brought them in before Nebuchadnezzar. 19 And the king spoke with them, and among all of them none was found like Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. Therefore they stood before the king. 20 And in every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king inquired of them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters that were in all his kingdom. 21 And Daniel was there until the first year of King Cyrus.
The hinge point of this text that the text builds to and builds from is Daniel 1: 8
8 But Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself with the king’s food, or with the wine that he drank. Therefore, he asked the chief of the eunuchs to allow him not to defile himself.
We are going to look at What this resolve looked like, Where it came from, and finally, Why Daniel was so resilient in his faith.
What does Daniel’s resolve look like?
1. Resolve is based on a higher loyalty
Daniel was rejecting Nebuchadnezzar’s will. The food laws were important to Israel because they prevented the people of God from participating in Pagan Part God'sFood was not what God’s law allowed. It might have been prepared wrongly and could have been offered to idols. Wdoesn'twine? Scripture doesn’t prohibit wine, just excess. But in the first verse, it seems that Nebuchadnezzar made a habit of using the goblets he took from the temple of Israel and defiled them Daniel'srunken orgies. Daniel’s loyalty was to the law of God, not the law of Babylon.
-loyalty to a singular sovereign God who controls and ordains all things. Babylon had no such loyalty. They had many gods.
Daniel had this loyalty to God that was otherworldly. This book shows the beauty of a God we can’t control. The book of Daniel starts by saying these powerful words: God GAVE THEM to the Babylonians. And at the same time, in Daniel 9, the Angel of the Lord tells Daniel that he is loved. How could a loving God Send in to exile those he loves? Exile for Israel was justice with a desire for restoration and reconciliation. But we see God at work in the heart of these pagan kings; we see the fearless resolve of young men modeling faith to a godless society. We see the people of Israel filled with sorrow over their sins and eventual repentance.
What we see in this book over and over again. It is the superiority of God as King. In an election year, this is good medicine. We see Daniel as a type of Christ. “As Daniel was a true Israelite, so Jesus was a true Israelite, the very Son of God. Daniel in Babylon was obedient to God with respect to food and drink; Jesus was obedient to God in all things.”
Sidney Greidanus
This is what God is calling us to as a church: a higher loyalty than party, then family, then career. Daniel's resolve was steadfast because even though he served the empire, he was not a slave to the empire. He was, as “he Apostle Paul says, “a “lave to righteousness.”
2. Resolve is Filled with faith-filled courage
- Our kids need courage. We need courage.
“Jesus followers who are resiliently faithful in the face of cultural coercion and who live a vibrant life in the Spirit. Without courage, we’ll be unable to live distinctly from the inexorable push and pull of culture. Without courage, we won’t think and live differently from the norm. Without courage, we’ll use screens the way everyone else does. Without courage, we won’t stand up for the right things at the right time.”
David Kinnaman
We model courage to our kids because of the Spirit of God in us. Christians are not afraid of death because the Spirit of God reminds us that nothing men can do to us but plant us into everlasting life. Courage comes from confidence, and confidence comes from the seal of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
“I have seldom encountered a mature believer living in persecution who asked us to pray that their persecution would cease. We have never heard that request. Rather, believers in persecution ask us to pray that “they would be faithful and obedient through their persecution and suffering.” That is a radically different prayer.”
Nik Ripken
That kind of prayer takes radical courage.
3. Resolve is a pre-decision to live a life of God-fearing holiness.
- that takes courage in a world that is hostile to the gospel in most cultures and violently punishes
Daniel knew defilement could spoil his relationship with God and undermine his personal testimony. And so do we.
It was a decision he made before he did anything. In a famous statement, the apostle Peter says that Christians are to be characterized by a willingness to engage in discussion. They must always be prepared to defend themselves to anyone who asks them for a reason for the hope that is in them (1 Peter 3:15).
At least, that is the part which is usually cited. However, as it stands here, the quotation is incomplete as it has no direct verb. Here is the complete sentence (verses 14–16):
Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts regard Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defence to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behaviour in Christ may be put to shame.
John C. Lennox
This is what subversive apologetics in exile looks like - notice what Peter says here.
1. Have no Fear
2. Regard God as Holy
3. Predecide how to respond - be prepared
4. Do it with humility and grace
Why was Daniel RESILIENT?
Daniel 9:21 (ESV)
21 while I was speaking in prayer, the man Gabriel, whom I had seen in the vision at the first, came to me in swift flight at the time of the evening sacrifice.
“Daniel in his heart is so formed by what happened in his life as a child and a teenager that 70 years later, after empires have risen and fallen, he still orders his heart. What happened that prepared these kids for exile? If you look back, it was the revival under King Josiah that was the environment in which they were formed. The culture of Josiah’s day was in such decline that they no longer had scripture as a reference point.” Josiah goes on a full-scale move of repentance that was unlike anything that God’s people had ever seen. It was so profound that it didn’t remove the judgment of God, but it delayed God’s judgment on his people for a generation.”
Jon Tyson
The fruit of Josiah’s were these young men Daniel and his friends would have been little kids during this revival.
“Secularism is here and coming. We are probably in a moment in our generation when we are in so much decline that we won’t be able to stop it. But we can disciple our kids with such intentionality and turn to God with such holiness of heart that we can prepare children who will thrive in exile. When they are carried into exile, they thrive. They have supernatural power, courage, and the discipline to thrive.”
Barna research says that only 11% of children have this resolve. Without revival or breathtaking, staggering discipleship of young people, we have lost them.
This is why we need to put our efforts into prayer for nation revival and radical discipleship of the next generation.
Those two things will create the kind of resilience Daniel had. We need to contend for a kingdom future. The answer is not a return to the past but a contention for the present and future establishment of the kingdom of God in the midst of exile.
What created this empire-defying resolve in Daniel and his friends? Repentance in their nation led to the formation of an entire generation
This is hard work but good work. It is what you are called to do.
In digital Babylon, faithful, resilient disciples are handcrafted one life at a time
- David Kinnaman
The way to stop the persecution of Christians worldwide is the same way Daniel and his friends could have avoided the lions and the flames. Keep God to yourself. Make your faith personal. Tell no one, and you will not be persecuted. But if you Resolve to live for Christ to honor him above the empire. Persecution will come. Our job as mothers and fathers and as followers is to model a pattern for living a rule of life that dominates our time, words, and actions the Glory for our success goes to God, not us. Daniel was intelligent, gifted, and wise because the Sovereign God who sent him to exile prepared him for Exile.
The moving of the spirit and the practices of the home formed Daniel in such a profound way.
We must raise kids whose hearts are captured by the beauty of the Gospel
We must raise kids who realize that this is not their home. That faith-filled courage in a sovereign God who keeps us even in the darkest night.
We must pray for Revival
We must practice formative practice, which our kids will take with them to Babylon.
My latest book is now available for purchase.
Just received the book today, I had to ask someone to bring it back from America while they were on a retreat. Looking forward to it.